Drink til you POP!

Prevention Magazine:

Do you drink diet soda to keep off the pounds? Try another tactic. Diet soda may increase your risk of metabolic syndrome, a group of symptoms that includes high levels of BELLY FAT, blood sugar, and cholesterol. People who consumed just one diet soda daiy had a 34% higher risk of the syndrome than those who abstained, according to a new University of Minnesota study of 10,000 adults. . . .

Is nothing safe???? Is nothing sacred???? Lucky for me I normally just drink water (watch out for those plastic bottles, right?) So, if you enjoy belly fat, you know what to drink. Enjoy.

Aquarius Jan 20-Feb 18

Okay. This doesn't exactly sound like a horoscope, so I guess it just catches the essence of the Aquarius. I don't know. This one could be all wet.
Aquarius
Oak trees are truly beautiful things. I spent a week living in an old oak forest, sleeping on a bed of leaves and moss, drinking straight from an ancient spring, sustaining myself on wild boar jerky and trail mix. The sound of the wind through the trees was all the entertainment I needed. Maybe one day we can go back there Aquarius and begin to live again.

So tell me, Becky, Justin: was this you? Any other Aquarius's want to speak up? Boar jerky?? I guess it could fit? Hmm. You tell me.

And now for Sagittarius

Michael and Charlie are both Sagittarius. Obviously--they are as different as two peas in a pod. I mean look at the peas closely and you will see that they are nothing alike.
OK--
Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21
Don't ever let anyone tell you that classical guitar is for pansies. I got stuck in a freight elevator once in an abandoned building in downtown Almeria with all these guitar students, and dudes just opened up their cases and started playing crazy, centrapuntal, baroque sh--. And they had wine and cheese and olives. Look past the obvious Sagittarius and it'll get you drunk.

Hmmm. I don't get this one myself and I can only recommend staying out of those abandoned buildings. As for the getting drunk, I think you're all well past that, no matter what the stars seem to think.

Speaking of stars look for the new comet--greenish, east southeastern sky. Only comet ever to be traveling backwards--in the opposite direction of the planetary orbits. Now there is something actually interesting.

Hot Dog

Yes, it's true. What you have always suspected about those Taco Stands and their carne asada. . . Direct from Tijuana's very own Frontera News:

Frontera (Tijuana, Baja California) 2/17/09

Last Saturday, 157 dogs were discovered crowded into cages in a house in Tijuana. Three men were arrested in connection with the discovery and an investigation ensued to determine the purpose of the odorous collection. One of the strongest lines of inquiry is the possible sale of the animals to taco stands and fast food restaurants in Tijuana. Although no results of the investigation have yet been published, today’s Frontera reports that there have been 20 requests for adoption of the dogs by local residents.

Do you think they meant to say local restaurants instead of local residents???

Scorpio fantasies

If this isn't a vampire sunset I don't know what is. . . .

Well, here we go again. Another horoscope, obviously written for someone interested in literature and small business. I can't believe the accuracy of this month's cosmic message:

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21

One of my all-time favorite concepts is the Vampire vs Werewolves storyline. I'm a really big fan of the whole "thousand year old secret war goin on all around us" narrative--It adds a little spice to otherwise dreary days spent shuffling from door to subway to work and back. But have you ever wondered, Scorpio, if the plumbers are at war with the electricians? Could happen.

Well, at least Scorpio has something to ponder on the subway. Although for me the vampire werewolf secret war is kind of dreary in and of itself. But then, I'm a Leo. So what do I know.

Brrrrr

Libras: Some of my favorite people . . .

I've never been big on horoscopes. But this one for the month of February is just too much to be ignored:
Libra Sep 23-Oct 22
Deep winter huh, Libra? This is it: dark, cold. Why bother leaving your apartment, right? I honestly can't say you should. Look. I love making happy predicitions about the future, but I just can't lie to you. Stay inside, snuggle up to your lover/TV/mug of diet coke. Build a fort out of cushions, catch up on your correspondence, spy on a neighbor. Whatever you do, please use your inside voice.

How's that for advice from the stars? And I am not making this up. I copied it all word for word out of a magazine--all the way from Deep winter . . . to . . . inside voice. So if you know a Libra right now who is not living in the deep snow send him/her immediately to Flagstaff.
Don't worry. I have 11 more horoscopes here just as weird as the one above. Watch out. Your future could be unwinding any day right here in the blogosphere.