Friday, September 24, 2010

Great Quote!


I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them—it was that promise.
Thorton Wilder

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

In memorium to Don Garate:

As every flower fades and as all youth
Departs, so life at every stage,
So every virtue, so our grasp of truth,
Blooms in its day and may not last forever

Since life may summon us at every age
Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,
Be ready bravely and without remorse
To find new light that old ties cannot give.

In all beginnings dwells a magic force
For guarding us and helping us to live.
Serenely let us move to distant places
And let no sentiments of home detain us.

The Holy Spirit seeks not to restrain us
But lifts us stage by stage to wider spaces.
We must prepare for parting and leave-taking,
Or else remain the slave of permanence.

Even the hour of our death may send
Us speeding on to fresh and newer spaces,
And life may summon us to newer races.

So be it, heart. Bid farewell, until
we meet again.
(adapted from Herman Hesse)

Chip, the family dog


In the spring of 1993 we decided to get a dog. I didn’t want a very big dog or a very expensive dog, so we looked through the want ads for a small dog that we could afford.
We found the perfect ad for a little blue heeler offered for free to a good home. That was us! We called and then piled into our little blue Honda Civic and headed out into the country—all the way out to Riggs Road near Queen Creek. We looked for the address and finally found a farm house off the road.

We knocked and a woman came out. We told her we were there to see the dog—that we were the people who had called earlier in the morning. She was very surprised. A family had just left with the little dog. She had assumed they were us!

Charlie, Megan, Michael, Steven and Graham (I can’t remember exactly which kids went with me) were all ready to take a pet home. Their disappointment must have showed on their faces. Suddenly the woman said, “Wait, don’t go. I have another dog. He will be perfect with your kids.”

Imagine my surprise when the woman brought out a three year old German Shepherd. This was not a small dog at all. But the kids seemed to like the big dog. The woman explained that the dog had been through training at the Police Dog Academy, but had flunked out because of his mild temperament. If we wanted him, we could take him.

Despite my misgivings the kids climbed into the little car with the dog squeezed in with them in the backseat. The lady even gave us a big bag of dog food. During the drive home I wondered if this big dog would behave. I wasn’t sure if I knew what to do with a big animal like this one. But there was lots of petting and talking which was reciprocated by licking. There was no barking, no lunging or biting.

When we got to the house dad said, “That’s not a small dog!” But he seemed to like the German Shepherd too. We decided to name him Chip in honor of his police dog training and the California Highway Patrol—CHP.

Just as the woman had said, Chip was a very friendly, mild dog, and he was very well trained. The afternoon was spent commanding Chip to sit, to stay, to come, to wait for a treat. He responded perfectly.

Dinner time came and everyone sat to eat at the big table in the kitchen. Chip went over, turned around several times and then settled onto the rag rug in front of the kitchen sink. When dinner was over and the table cleared, the kids went off to do homework or watch TV.

After a few minutes I came back into the kitchen to clean up a little. There was Graham, nearly three years old, lying on the rag rug with his arm around Chip’s neck. As I stood in the doorway watching Graham leaned over and looked the dog right in the face. “Come on, you can do it Chip,” he whispered. I leaned forward to listen. “Come on Chip, say Graham. You can do it. Graaaa amm.”
I started to smile, listening to the sweet little guy snuggled up to the big, nice dog.

And the big dog looked into Graham’s face, opened his mouth, and. . . .
licked him across his face!

Needless to say for all the years Chip was with us, Chip and Graham had a special friendship, speaking to one another in a language they both understood

Saturday, September 11, 2010

What is Love?

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I have it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

MKH

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Snap, and it's gone

In a casual conversation the other day I assured one of my sons that I would be around for another 30 or 35 years, and he laughed and said that wasn't very long. I agreed, but in 35 years I will be 96. That's kind of shocking and it isn't very far away.

Thiry five years ago I was about to give birth to our first daughter. Just yesterday.
Thirty years ago I had four kids and a fifth would be born within the year.
It doesn't seem very long ago. I feel about the same as I did then.

But this is life. It is happening right now, and it only goes one way. So start living it. Choose to be happy. Take risks, enjoy everyday. Be nice to the people who love you. Stop looking for perfection. Get married. Have kids. Now is the only time you can do it. Love your kids. love your spouse. Don't expect perfection!

Find a job you enjoy, or a job that will pay the bills and enjoy life. Make friends, keep friends. Say your prayers. Trust God. Put your life in order. You will be happier than you imagine.

But most important of all, call your mom regularly. She loves you, and she won't be here forever!

(And don't forget to call your Dad! He loves you too and he's already older than I am.)